GOP ’12 Top Ten: April 1 – No foolin’

Contributed by Shell Suber

March’s big winner was Tim Pawlenty who had been fading over the last few months but now seems to be everywhere.

Big losers were Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump. Bachmann failed a self-administered grade-school geography quiz and got folks wondering what other subjects she flunked. [ie. Dan Quayle] Trump pulled off his mask and there stood Ross Perot. [Paranoid delusions of black helicopters included. Tin-foil hat, sold separately.]

Mostly, this month was about the man in the White House. A budget showdown, rising gas prices, stalled unemployment figures and ubiquitous coverage of rookie mistakes in foreign policy have emboldened Republican aspirants and the legions of conservatives investing their hopes in them.

March madness, indeed. 

(#) = previous rank

1. Mitt Romney (2) – Back in front, Romney is drawing crowds and attacking Obama polices.

2. Mike Huckabee (1) – Speculation continues he may not even run. May surrender #2 to Pawlenty soon at this rate.

3. Tim Pawlenty (Off The List) – Well-received visits to early primary states, improved buzz and the formation of an exploratory committee yanks T-Paw right back into this thing. Working to change his weakness (“boring”) into a strength (“mature.”) Plus, he has the best nickname. (Apologies to The Donald)

4. Newt Gingrich ( 3) – Playing successfully on Tea Party nostalgia for the heady days of the Contract with America.

5. Haley Barbour (5) – Came down hard on Obama for mishandling Libya crisis. While not as well known among the rank and file, his pro-growth, solutions-oriented approach is attracting the attention those who actually pay for elections in this country.

6. Mitch Daniels (6) – His “Aw Shucks” style is proving an effective foil to the imperial air projected by both the current frontrunner and The One. Daniels assumes “sleeper” title abandoned by Thune.

7. Rick Santorum (4) – Santorum itinerary: Fly to Iowa, then to New Hampshire, then South Carolina, then back to Iowa, back to New Hampshire…

8. Michele Bachmann (7) – Aides insist she’s in but now fighting the ‘Not Ready for Prime Time” label.

9. Jon Huntsman (8) – Greatest weakness: Nobody knows him. Greatest strength: Same.

10. Donald Trump (9) – The Donald has championed the birther’s cause – which will make him wildly popular with a very vocal 5% of the right wing vote… and get him fired by the rest of the GOP. Well, it was fun while it lasted, I guess.

The Others…

Sarah Palin – I’m not sure if that sound I hear is the chirping of crickets or the ticking of a time bomb but in either case, Repent – The End Is Near.

Jim DeMint – Probably not running but Tea Partiers are hungry to raise up one of their own… um, who knows where Lexington and Concord are.

Rudy Giuliani – I noticed History Channel re-ran their “Rudy-on-9/11” documentary the other night. Hmmm.

John Thune – Made it official he is not running. Turns out the US Senate isn’t a bad place for a talented fellow to hang out for a few years.


One Comment to “GOP ’12 Top Ten: April 1 – No foolin’”

  1. If I might add . . . Huntsman – greatest strength, Ambassador to China. Greatest weakness, Obama’s Ambassador to China.

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