Archive for April, 2011

April 11, 2011

What comes around…

Contributed by Shell Suber

When I was 7, my parents left my 5 year old bother and me in the care of my 14, 12 and 10 year old cousins in Pennsylvania and went out to one of those adults-only-drinking-wine-in-the-sun-all-day events that horse people love so much.

Naturally, an atomic pillow fight erupted not long after they left. I was sent flying backwards down a long, steep flight of wooden stairs in their old farmhouse. I spent the rest of a very long day at the bottom of those steps holding my arm.

When the adults finally returned – tired and well lubricated – I didn’t get the sympathy I felt my condition warranted. Instead, I got unhelpful advise like “Just move it around” and “Do this and it will feel better” (accompanied by giant circular motion with arm). It was decided I was whiny and irritating and sent to bed. 

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April 1, 2011

GOP ’12 Top Ten: April 1 – No foolin’

Contributed by Shell Suber

March’s big winner was Tim Pawlenty who had been fading over the last few months but now seems to be everywhere.

Big losers were Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump. Bachmann failed a self-administered grade-school geography quiz and got folks wondering what other subjects she flunked. [ie. Dan Quayle] Trump pulled off his mask and there stood Ross Perot. [Paranoid delusions of black helicopters included. Tin-foil hat, sold separately.]

Mostly, this month was about the man in the White House. A budget showdown, rising gas prices, stalled unemployment figures and ubiquitous coverage of rookie mistakes in foreign policy have emboldened Republican aspirants and the legions of conservatives investing their hopes in them.

March madness, indeed. 

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