Living in an Obama World

Contributed by the misplacedmtnman

I consider myself an avid enthusiast of the English language, and I like to believe that words have definite definitions, but this is not really the case during this “Obama Utopia.” Whether I name it “Obatopia” or Utobama,”* this administration seems to have the ability to rewrite the dictionary at will. Words and their meanings are rather topsy-turvy these days, so I have to make that extra effort to keep up. If I’m not paying close attention, I might not realize that “Comprehensive Immigration Reform” actually means “Amnesty for Illegals and Future Votes for Democrats.” I’m just sayin’. Liberalspeak can be awfully tricky.

For instance, in the distant past the word “racist” meant “one who hates another because of their skin color.” Boy, those were the days. Then the definition evolved into “white persons” (because we all know black people can never be racist). But now “racist” has come to mean “anyone who opposes Obama.” Whew! Is that all-encompassing or what? Quite an accomplishment for a man who is only half black.

Now, never mind the fact that race never enters my mind when I express concern about the unemployment rate, “Cap and Trade,” or NASA’s new mission to help Muslims “feel good” about themselves, I am a RACIST by (the newly-rewritten) definition. If I was a Black Panther who openly and vocally advocated killing white people and their babies, then the Obama Justice Department would find no fault with me. I would be cleared of all charges. It’s just that simple. As Walter Cronkite would say, “That’s the way it is.”

I used to think I believed in “freedom” and “The American Way,” but not now. This is just not the case anymore. According to the Obama Administration, “freedom” and “The American Way” mean “massive government control” and “socialized health care.” I start uttering words like “individualism” or “free market” and all of a sudden I am a “selfish capitalist oppressor” who “wants the uninsured to die!” It’s okay to switch to GEICO to save money on my car insurance, but if I express the idea that maybe my taxes are a bit high, instantly I have declared myself a proud member of the “greedy rich” who doesn’t want to pay my “fair share.” Of course, if I was a rich liberal who cheated on my taxes and really didn’t pay my fair share, I just might be appointed chairman of the powerful Ways and Means Committee, or chosen to run the I.R.S. That’s politics in Obatopia.

I think Arizona has the right to pass a state law to enforce a federal law that continues to be ignored by Washington, so that means I am an “anticonstitutionalist.” In fact, if I believe in securing the border at all, that makes me a “xenophobic immigrant hater.”

I support “terrorism” and “national security risks” – if you go by the current definitions, which are “tea parties” and “concerned American citizens.” I am “pro-military” which makes me a “warmonger,” and I firmly believe in the second amendment, which to Obama means I am an “antipathetic gun-clinger.” I consider myself a Christian and respect the Bible, which by definition means I am a “religious extremist” who is also most probably a “bigoted Muslim basher.” Who can tell?

I am “pro-marriage,” which makes me a “homophobe,” but I never make the mistake of calling a gay person a “heterophobe.” These things only go one way. I don’t buy into the “global warming” hoax, nor the phony “green jobs” scam, which earns me the titles “flat-earther” and “climate killer” respectively. I would mention how I feel about abortion, and perhaps quote the infamous liberal bumper sticker “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY BODY,” but I’m sure Obamacare will settle that issue in due time. No sense in adding “male chauvinist” to my resume.

Worst of all, I am a frequent listener to talk radio, which makes me an advocate of “hatespeech.” Well, call it what you will but I enjoy it, much more than the “lovespeech” of commentators such as Joy Behar, Rosie O’Donnell and Bill Maher. Sorry. That’s how I roll. Furthermore, if I in turn express opinions based on what I’ve heard on the radio, I am immediately labeled an “incendiary, uninformed ditto-head.” I actually prefer “Michael Savage myrmidon,” but they both mean the same thing: “stupid right-wing robot.” I guess I should have followed Obama’s advice and gotten my “facts” from the Huffington Post.

So there you have a mere sampling of the civil and sensitive language of the left: not so much political debate as it is simple name-calling, which can be fun once you get the hang of it. I say embrace the silly insults and simply define their true meanings. When I am called a “Nazi neo-con enemy of the state,” I just smile and say, “Yes, I am a conservative, but I prefer the phrase ‘pre-Obama American.'”

I am also vehemently opposed to roaches, broccoli and Broadway musicals, which I think makes me an “anti-insect, vegetable-hating cultural retard.” But I could be wrong.

*pronounced oh-buh-TOE-pee-uh and yoo-TOE-buh-muh.

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3 Comments to “Living in an Obama World”

  1. Great stuff. You need to post more often!

  2. I agree, Shell. I loved it.

  3. This is spot on!

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